A Good Analogy Is Like...

A good analogy is like ... well, a good analogy. I think that analogies are a perfect way of insulting someone, especially if they are as sharp as a marble. It never fails - someone in the vastness of the internet will get a chuckle out of that one. I would like to say that I made that up, but no - someone somewhere sometime told it to me. I would now like to include a list of ways to call someone stupid (borrowed - without permission) from http://www.anvari.org/shortjoke/EmailJoke_Set_1/3339.html (thank you Google).

Creative Ways to Say Someone is Stupid
About as sharp as a marble.
A few clowns short of a circus.
Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas Tree.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
I wish I had a blueprint for his brain; I'm trying to build an idiot.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
He only has one oar in the water.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
Dumber than a box of hair.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all her Cornflakes in one box.
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
One taco short of a combination plate.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off her cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Chimney's clogged.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay her brain bill.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If she had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
No grain in the silo.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Several nuts short of a full pouch.
Skylight leaks a little.
Slinky's kinked.
Surfing in Nebraska.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
The lights are on, but nobody's home.
24 cents short of a quarter.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

Fair warning, using the above quotes could lead to multiple (possibly severe) injuries - then again maybe you will get away with it and confuse your victim and get some respect from anyone listening.

Speaking of listening, I am planning on starting to make (somewhat) periodic updates via a new service called AudioBlogging. It was super simple to setup, I highly recommend that anyone even remotely interested in podcasting signup asap. For those who refuse to follow any links on my site, AudioBlogging is as simple as dialing a telephone number. Podcasting got it's name from iPod (a popular portable MP3 music player) and broadcasting (the projection of content across a medium - most popular in the form of television and radio broadcasting). Please note that to listen to a 'podcast' you don't need to have an iPod, just a way of listening to MP3's (such as Winamp). Essentially this service is designed to give blogs voices, something I am not too sure about but am willing to try.

To keep costs down on the server hosting the audio files, no single recording will be longer than 5 minutes - but I doubt that I will find a way to fill those 5 minutes for a while *unless I get off on a rant of some sort*.

Remember: Talking to the automatic operatior is only fun if you have a snappy comeback for "If you would like to make a call, please hang up and try again".

In the (now) immortal words of Ryan Seacrest,
Mr. Me out.